I have wished on many a star in my lifetime. Even at the age of 34 I still look up to the heavens in search of that first star of the evening... hoping, praying, dreaming that that one twinkling light will bring me peace and somehow grant what I ask of it. Some may call it childish- I simply call it finding my sense of place in this crazy, mad world.
Last night, the first night of a mini-staycation at home while my daughter is at the beach with her grandparents, I sat on my back porch and I found that one star. My thoughts immediately went to my sister who just lost her job, my thoughts went to my daughter who is battling so many anger issues for too young an age, my thoughts went to my parents who- in their golden years- are fighting illness and the repercussions of too much togetherness as they have both retired in the past year, and finally my thoughts fell on me... still trying to find my right path in this lifetime so that my family may be proud of me and for once I could be proud of myself.
That one little star winked back at me and for a moment my mind was clear. I stared at it for quite a while and simply let myself go into its beautiful, white light. For a moment wishing on that one star brought peace.
I'm not quite sure why I find myself blogging again. I am, you may say, a serial blogger- I start and stop and keep coming back to try again. Maybe this is my time finally- maybe this is the blog I have been searching for. Maybe here, much like wishing on stars, I may discover that sense of place that is always eluding me in the outside world. My voice may be weak in the crowd; but here... here my voice can speak up, whisper, shout... whatever it needs when it needs.
So here I begin, on the spiral road- taking the path inward... searching for the road not taken... just finding myself and chronicling the journey as I go along. Brightest Blessings to me and any who care to join me.
*Image found at icykitty.deviantart.com
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